Clearly Trump's drive is not financial given that his dabbling in capitalism has led to a net lose, what truly drives him is a very advanced form of narcissism. Trump can often be found leering at his daughter or screaming in his hallway with his genitals between his legs shouting "Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me". After screaming for a few hours he will normally cry in his room and gorge on Cadbury Creme Eggs until he vomits while boasting that he is rich enough to eat the festive treat out of its seasonal context. When challenged for eating the mysterious chocolate cased gooe outside of the Easter period he simply mutters "I am he, I am his true son".
On occasions when Trump isn't eating Creme Eggs he is making racist statements or preparing his hair. For the past few decades Trump has in fact been totally bald and spends a great deal of time preparing his wig. What is not known is that Trump's hair is made of human hair, not only is it human hair but it is hair with a very close DNA match which is why it looks so natural. Trump's narcissism can be fully explained by the source of his hair, the pubic triangle of his daughter. In truth Trump's drive is purely based on a perverse self-love, his unquestionable and publicly stated lust for Ivanka Trump is merely an expression of his Trumpcentric view of the Universe.
Whether or not Donald Trump wins the US election in 2016 we can all be sure that his mirror will be covered in jizz. In these troubled times it is almost comforting to know that Trump's election challenge can not shatter that constant.
